Kids These Days

When my kids were younger, I tried to convince them that my taste in music and entertainment was the only way to go. For a while, it seemed to be working. My little boy actually used to dance to Phil Collins music. And my daughter seemed to enjoy watching sappy dramas with me. But now, that's all changed. No matter what, I cannot get my kids into listening to Phil Collins anymore. They don't even want any Credence Clearwater Revival. My little boy (who is really not little at all anymore) listens to--gasp--Taylor Swift. And my daughter listens to--well, whoever it is, I haven't even heard of them. Neither one watches much TV with me anymore. They now prefer shows like iCarly and other goofy teen stuff. (I feel obligated to mention at this point that my not-so-little boy is really into cooking shows right now and I do actually enjoy some of them myself.) So what happened to my kids?

Whenever I start to complain--in my mind, at least--about my kids not appreciating the same entertainment I enjoy, I think about how my own parents would view my current tastes. I grew up with music by Gene Autry, people on the Lawrence Welk show, and a bunch of guys that yodeled a lot. Seriously, has anyone besides my dad heard of Elton Britt? We faithfully watched Little House on the Prairie and The Wonderful World of Disney. I think my folks would be surprised that I watch so much sci-fi now. We watch a lot of superhero movies and Star Trek related shows. And with the exception of a few memorable songs I grew up with, most of the music on my iPod is adult contemporary and 80s stuff. I'm sure my parents would not enjoy very much of it.

So what is a parent to do? Well, pretty much all we can do is raise our kids with a decent set of values and hope that they make choices about entertainment that go with those values. The only other choice would be to raise your kids in a sterile bubble and try to cram your opinions down their throats. But that might not be very practical.

Besides, I've heard bubbles like that cost a fortune.

We the Jury

Recently I had the opportunity to serve on a jury. It was a new experience for me and I'm not even sure if anyone I know has ever served on one.

When I first received my jury summons, I was not particularly pleased. I really didn't know what to expect and I wanted to avoid trials for major crimes, such as rape and murder. Even if all the evidence pointed to a defendant's guilt, I would always wonder if I had helped put an innocent person in prison (or worse). So when I made the phone call the night before to see if I had to report in, I was somewhat discouraged when my group number was one that would be needed.

The next day I dutifully reported in early and then proceeded to sit in a room with about 15 or so other people. Nobody talked to anybody else and most of us just sat there and read. Then the bailiff came in and showed us a movie about jury duty. (The movie was an actual video tape. Have these people heard of DVDs?) After another wait, we finally all traipsed into the courtroom and were assigned numbers.

Then the judge told us about the case. It was for somebody accused of driving under the influence. From what I could tell, there was only one witness: the officer who had arrested the defendant. One witness? This trial could be over today. A DUI? This case should be super easy. Just show me the results of the Breathalyzer and we are out of here. Sign me up.

After the judge and lawyer asked the group a bunch of questions, a couple of potential jurors were eliminated and the six people who happened to be in the front row were assigned to the actual jury. And I was one of them.

The actual trial finally began. One of the first things we learned was that the defendant had refused a Breathalyzer test. We had to base his guilt or innocence on the way he had been driving and results of field sobriety tests. Maybe not so easy after all. The police officer took the witness stand. His testimony must have taken the better part of two hours. Questions had to be broken down into little pieces. The same questions had to be repeated for each individual part of the field sobriety test. It got incredibly boring after a while, but I managed to stay awake and tried not to make up my mind regarding a verdict yet.

I actually got to hear in a real courtroom those things they say on those TV crime dramas:
"Let the record show that the witness has identified the defendant..." "Could you please demonstrate to the jury..." "This has been marked as exhibit A." "The prosecution rests, your honor." "The defense rests, your honor." I was hoping I could hear somebody shout "Objection!" but that didn't happen.

Eventually, we received our jury instructions, heard closing arguments, and finally went in to deliberate. The defendant had apparently been drinking, but had he consumed enough to be impaired in his driving? This is what we had to decide. Reaching a verdict didn't take much time. We talked for about 15 minutes and we were all in agreement. Reading the verdict took even less time. But after seeing all the details that had to be covered to make sure people get a fair trial, I can understand why everything in the legal system takes so much time.

All in all, it was a very interesting and educational experience. If I ever get a jury summons again, I don't have to wonder what will happen. I would even look forward to serving again if it is a simple case. With one witness. That can be completed in a day. Maybe two at the most.

The Last Cat Post

I took this picture of our cat last March. It is significant because it apparently will be the last one I ever take of her. It seems we have lost our Olivia.

This past spring, Olivia was exiled permanently to the outdoors after three consecutive days of wetting on the kitchen floor. During rainy weather, there were a couple times when someone in the family took pity on her and allowed her back in for a period of time, but she was pretty much an outdoor cat. Nearly every morning by about 6 am she was meowing at the door. Once in a while, we wouldn't see her for a day or two, but she always came back. Now we haven't seen her for an entire week. It is quite possible that another family has adopted her, but it just isn't like Olivia to not come back home.

We acquired her about 9 1/2 years ago. My mother-in-law was moving to an apartment and needed to find a good home for her. My husband kindly decided to take her in. That day, I got a phone call at work informing me of the new addition to the family.

Not long after this, the cat scratched my baby boy (granted, it was self defense since he pulled her tail) and also left a couple messes on our carpet. Which I had to clean up. It was at this time that the cat and I developed a love-hate relationship. I hated her and she loved tormenting me. Sometimes she would park herself practically on my foot and I wouldn't even know she was there until I tried to walk.

There were times when I did appreciate her presence. When we first got Olivia, we lived in an apartment that had a mouse problem. Within a few months, the mouse problem was gone. Often, she would leave a dead rodent outside the front door. She apparently thought we needed to be fed by her. On one occasion, she deposited a small fish near the door (apparently swiped from a neighbor cat's dish) and I also remember her catching a live bird. With the bird still in her mouth, she asked to be let in. I politely told her no and a few minutes later, the bird escaped. Yes, she was quite the little huntress in her day.

Although Olivia drove me crazy, she provided a number of humorous moments. Ah, the many times I tried to convince her that the food dish did not disappear, it had simply moved temporarily. (See "A Cat's Life.") The numerous occasions she fell down the stairs because we couldn't convince her to stop sleeping on the banister next to them. (See "Olivia--The Supercat?")

I sometimes felt like I was carrying on a conversation with Olivia even though I was obviously doing most of the talking and she was mostly staring. I will now entertain you (hopefully) with one of these so-called conversations and what I imagined she might be saying.

Olivia: Um, excuse me. I want to eat and my food dish is missing.
Me: Oh, I just moved it over here so I could mop and vacuum the kitchen floor. See, here it is.
Olivia: (blinks) Uh, yeah. My food dish is always in this spot and now it's gone. I need you to bring it back.
Me: It's right here. (I pick it up and shake it)
Olivia: (blinks again) Yeah, so if you could find my food dish and bring it here so I can eat, I'd appreciate it.
Me: Oh, forget it. I need to vacuum.
Olivia: AAAAAH! Big noisy thing! (runs away)

So here is my tribute to Olivia. I tried to keep it upbeat because she did have a long full life.

Besides, there is still a small chance she will decide to come back and surprise us all.

Someone Else's Experience is the Best Teacher

It's been said that experience is the best teacher. The idea is that you make some mistake and then you learn a lesson from it forever.

But why should you have to go through so many hard experiences yourself? Why not learn from the mistakes of others? I have learned a number of things just by hearing how others have erred and I know I will never make those mistakes myself. For example:

1. Never turn your back on a running vehicle. After hearing several reports in the news about people leaving their car running and hurrying into a convenience store "just for a minute" and then finding out their car was stolen in that brief moment, I learned you should never ever leave your car with the engine running. Even if you think you'll "just be a minute."

2. Never mix cornstarch with hot water. Of course, recipes always say to mix it with cold water, but some have told me they tried mixing it with hot, and the sauce or gravy got all lumpy. Lesson learned. And I didn't have to find out the hard way.

3. Always prick potatoes a lot before baking them. This is something that everyone seems to know, but still I heard it enough times that I will never put potatoes in the oven without puncturing them several times. So I never have to worry about exploding baked potatoes.

Now that I have shared a few tidbits of wisdom that I did not have to learn the hard way, I will give some advice that I did have to learn the hard way.

1.Sometimes a GPS can lead you the wrong way and you can get completely lost. Sometimes a map is better.

2. Never wash towels and clothes together unless you want to spend two hours picking lint off the clothes.

3. Don't buy diapers which come from a company that also makes canned corn. You might think you're saving money buying cheap diapers but you'll lose it all in the extra washing from the diapers constantly leaking.

So there you have it. My words of wisdom. If I have saved anyone from the inconvenience of getting lost, or spending two hours lint picking, or the frustration of cheap, leaky diapers, then the last 15 minutes I spent writing this have been totally worthwhile. You're welcome.

A Dozen Roses--For Free

From looking at this picture, one might think that I have a loving, generous husband who purchased a bunch of roses for me.

Just to be clear, I do have a loving, generous husband. But the roses came from my oft mentioned rosebush. I was actually able to take a whole branch full of roses and put it in my vase. Sometimes I would stop my housework for a moment just to smell them.

I would have brought inside each and every rose that bloomed but some I left outside for the neighbors to see. It doesn't seem likely that the neighbors even noticed, but I liked to envision some of them driving by and admiring my roses.

Parenting 102

When a new baby joins the family, the parents look forward to many firsts. First smile, first tooth, first step. However, there are some other "firsts" that are not so welcome. These are bound to happen, though. Fortunately, there is one way of dealing with all of them.

The first time your baby--
spits up on his nice brand new outfit
spits up on your nice brand new outfit
spits up on a guest's nice brand new outfit
defies gravity and shoots "number two" all up his back (I still can't figure out how this happens)
is getting a diaper change and decides he isn't quite finished and sprays all sorts of stuff on you

But don't think these not-so-welcome firsts end after babyhood. Nope, you're just getting started.

The first time your toddler--
says a very naughty word in front of you and you realize that his TV watching should be monitored more closely
says that same word in front of polite company
comes out into the living room naked in front of the same polite company
throws a tantrum in public
loudly announces in a public place not only that he has to use the bathroom but exactly what he has to do in there
locks you out of the house while you are outside checking the mail (OK, this only happened with one of my kids)

Of course, this is not a complete list. There are so many more, but I didn't want to make this blog entry so long that nobody would read it.

So how do you deal with all these episodes? You laugh! Come on. Our kids are babies and toddlers for a very short while. You have to enjoy these times even if they are embarrassing or frustrating.

Besides, what better way to entertain guests than by telling these stories in front of friends and family once your kids are teenagers.

Yellow Rose of my Neighborhood

So this is one of the roses from my rosebush that didn't bloom last year. I cannot take credit for how lovely it turned out. I tried pruning but I think I started too late. I gave them plant food but probably not enough. So why it turned out so gorgeous is beyond me.

I will however take full credit for the picture turning out so well. I just used the camera application in my phone. It was a little tricky because I had to hold the rose down with one hand and use the camera with the other. But it turned out great.

The rose smells lovely by the way. So if anyone wants to come by my house to stop and smell the roses, feel free.

And if anyone recognizes what variety of rose this is, perhaps you could let me know.

Garden Update

Now that it is late spring, my flower bed has changed quite a bit. The hyacinths and daffodils have passed their blooming time and have been cut back. But the roses are just getting going. I have also planted some pansies.

We have a concrete planter at the corner of one flower bed and I decided to put some strawberry plants in there. I haven't actually planted them yet so they are still in the little flower pots that I originally bought them in. But I saw something today that motivated me to get them planted soon. It was an actual little tiny green strawberry. (See top picture) There are other blossoms on the plant so I am hoping we get a little crop of strawberries this season.

The other picture is one of my rosebushes. Last year, we got quite a few roses, but only from one bush. The lower picture is of the other bush that didn't bloom. Why it decided to bloom this year is just as big of a mystery as what kept it from blooming last year. I am looking forward to seeing what color its flowers are.

As soon as I have more color in my garden, I will post more colorful pictures. After all, one reason why I started blogging is so I could post pictures of my flower bed.

Saga of a Tooth

One day my daughter told me she wanted to go to the dentist because the gum around one of her molars was swollen and painful. So off to the dentist we went. Little did I know that it was the beginning of a very long story.

Appointment 1: Food wedged under gum removed. Diagnosis: excess gum around tooth. Solution: something called a gingivectomy, in which excess gum is removed.

ONE MONTH LATER

Appointment 2: Arrive at periodontist for gingivectomy. Procedure not performed. Diagnosis: Tooth broken, removing excess gum pointless. Solution: Extract tooth.

Appointment 3: Dentist wants to confirm above information. X-ray taken. Diagnosis: They're right. The tooth is broken. How on earth did we miss that? Solution: Extract tooth.

Appointment 4: Partner dentist also wants verification. Diagnosis: What are they talking about? The tooth isn't broken. It's just in at an angle. Solution: Remove the excess gum already!

Appointment 5: Periodontist wants to verify what was found at appointment 4. Diagnosis: Hey, I guess it might not be broken after all. Solution: Let's remove the excess gum. But it might not be a permanent solution. Permanent solution: wait for daughter's jaw to grow or get braces. And stop chewing on that side pretty much forever.

My thoughts: You really think that at age 15 her jaw is suddenly going to start growing significantly? And we can't afford braces right now. But thanks for getting the procedure done.

Some might think that getting a second opinion is important. Well, I got FIVE opinions. And I didn't even ask for them.

The only good thing out of this whole mess is that both my kids have reached maximum benefits on dental insurance and we might not have to pay for any of these appointments. I wonder if they will reimburse me for the gas I used up in all this driving around?

Pinkish Daffodil

So my daffodils are finally blooming. And although I am pleased to see that they were not damaged by squirrels or certain cats using the flower bed as a litter box (namely Olivia), I was slightly disappointed that the daffodils did not turn out like the catalog picture.

The top picture is a photo of the rosy cloud daffodil. The catalog described its white petals on the outside and the fluffy pink double center. Also, the flower seems to be lifted up.

The bottom picture is my daffodil. It seems to be lacking somewhat in the fluffy center department, not to mention that it doesn't look very pink. And the flower is drooping down. It also doesn't help that the picture was taken on a dreary rainy day.

I don't know what was done to make the top daffodil look so pink and fluffy. The flower looks real. It just doesn't look like mine.

All the same, the fact that I have living flowers (and not just from weeds) in the flower bed does say something for my fledgling gardening skills. Maybe the pansies that I hope to plant soon will be more colorful.

Before and After--Part Two

When we got home from our vacation, it was still daylight. So the first thing I did was check on my flowers. The hyacinths were in full bloom and the daffodils were taller with very visible buds. I immediately took pictures of both.

I plan on adding to the flowerbeds this spring. My plan is to plant pansies to the side with the daffodils and perhaps an azalea. The other side will hopefully be home to some irises as soon as I can order and plant those.

There is also a large pot in a concrete planter in the corner of one flowerbed. My plan for that is a nice strawberry bush, assuming I can find one at a nursery.

Of course, the first thing I will have to do is weed both flowerbeds again and prune the rosebushes. But before I do that, I have to rest up from all my vacationing.

Before and After--Part One

Since we are going to be out of town for more than a week, I wanted to take pictures of my flowers before we left so I can compare what they look like now with what they look like when we come back.

The photos above are of my daffodils and hyacinths. As you can see, the hyacinths (lower picture) look as if they are ready to bloom. I also noticed something about the daffodils. I was quite pleased when I realized their leaves had come up but I was very happy when I last checked on them. That thing in the middle that looks like a small leaf is not leaf. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a bud. My daffodils have buds on them which means that, if all continues to go well, they will soon have beautiful pink and white flowers on them. Of course, I will probably take dozens of pictures of them at that point.

But don't worry. I won't post them all.

Coming Soon--A Flower Bed with Flowers

One of the reasons for starting a blog was so I could show off my flower bed that came with our new house last year. When we first moved in, it was more of a weed bed with a couple of rose bushes. Eventually I weeded it and planted some wildflower seeds.

By early summer, one rose bush was budding and a few wild flowers were coming up. But it wasn't really enough to make it look like a flower bed. So last fall, I purchased some daffodil and hyacinth bulbs and planted them.

I have read that bulbs come up pretty easy if you plant them at the right time and the right way. (Pointy side goes up.) This appears to be true. My daffodils are well above ground now as are the hyacinths. My concern now is that we started getting more freezing weather over the past week and I hope all my little bulbs survive this cold snap.

The roses are also starting to form new leaves. So at this point, everything is alive. We'll see if I can keep it that way this season.

Sunrise, Sunset

No, this is not about the song from Fiddler on the Roof.

When I was growing up, the big picture window in our house faced West. I saw more gorgeous sunsets then I will ever be able to count. Recently it occurred to me that I haven't seen very many gorgeous sunrises, even when we had windows facing East. The reason I missed all of them is because we had blinds on those windows and I usually didn't open them until very late in the morning.

Our house that we live in now has a big window that faces South, but we have a nice view of the East. Right now it doesn't have blinds on it. During the winter, when we all have to get up early for school, work, etc, it is still dark. But this affords me the opportunity to watch a gorgeous sunrise. Of course, the sun rises every morning, but if it is too rainy or foggy, the sky just gets lighter. It only counts as a gorgeous sunrise if the sky turns pink.

Over the past month, I have found myself putting off things I need to do just so I can sit and watch the sky turn pink. And I realize how many of these I have missed out on.

I would like to get some sort of window covering in the living room, but I definitely do not want blinds. I'm thinking some sort of drapes. I want some privacy but I also want to let in enough early morning light so I can tell when the sky is pink.

If All Else Fails, Try Punching Some Buttons

About nine months ago, I purchased a high efficiency washer and dryer set. Although laundry is still a major chore (Quandary about laundry here), the new appliances made it a lot easier and faster. There was only one thing that bugged me about them: at the end of each cycle, I would hear a very loud alarm letting me know the machine had stopped. The dryer let out one long, drawn-out noise, and the washer let out three sets of three equally loud noises.

Most of the time I didn't mind them too much because then I knew it was time to continue the laundry process. One load to fold, one load to put in the dryer, and one load to put in the washer. However, when people were downstairs near the machines watching TV or playing on the X-box, those alarms were especially annoying.

Now, for the record, I did look in each manual to figure out how to turn those hideous things off, but there were no directions pertaining to this. So we suffered.

Recently, I decided to mess with the "Options" control button to see if I could get rid of the noise. In just a couple button pushes, the "cycle signal" light turned off. The dryer stopped without making a racket. Later, I figured out how to do the same thing to the washer. Yippee! Now I can do laundry when company is around without interrupting our X-box games with a shrill alarm!

Of course, while cleaning upstairs I will still need my "cycle signals." But it's nice to know that I can choose to silence them if necessary.

And it only took me nine months, one week, two days, and 30 seconds to figure it out.

I recently saw a commercial for a men's body wash. It was one of those all-in-one washes, covering hair, face, and body. Similar products are made for children. That might work well for men and kids, but no self-respecting woman would ever use just one product in the shower.

For hair, we use shampoo. Since it is a sin to use soap on your face, we use facial cleanser. Then there is body wash for the body and foot scrub for our feet. Sometimes body polish follows the regular washing. After everything has been cleansed, washed, scrubbed and polished, we need to moisturize. For the hair, there is conditioner. The face needs moisturizer. Not lotion, moisturizer. Then there is the body lotion. Our feet need either lotion or moisturizer specifically made for feet. Right now, I have a foot "creme" (not cream).

Each product is used exclusively for its own set purpose. Can you imagine what chaos would ensue if our foot creme met up with the body lotion in the ankle area?

Women need a large number of cleansing and moisturizing products. This can be seen at any grocery store in the aisle of body washes. There are about 90 for women, 6 for men, and maybe 2 for little kids. What can I say? A woman must smell her best.

It makes me wonder how our grandmothers survived with (gasp) plain soap and water.

Lessons learned

One Saturday, not long ago, I was doing my usual Saturday stuff when I got a phone call from my husband. He said there had been a grease fire in the kitchen, but fortunately it had been put out with the fire extinguisher. No big deal, I thought. So I lost a frying pan. It needed replacing anyway. Then he said he was going to call our insurance agent. Insurance agent? I wondered. How much damage had been done anyway?

I soon found out. The kitchen was smothered with white powder from the fire extinguisher. The range hood was pretty much destroyed. In fact, a piece of it had melted and fallen onto the range. It then solidified and became a permanent fixture on the coil burner. I wanted to just sweep up all the powder, but we had to wait until an insurance adjuster (or an assessor or somebody) looked at all the damage. Besides, the powder was an irritant and shouldn't just be swept up. So our kitchen was not usable. We went out to dinner for several nights in a row.

One might think that eating out all the time like that would have resembled being on vacation. If one were to think that, however, one would be wrong. Vacations are when you spend your days at an amusement park or beach and you get to go out to eat. We were not spending our days doing fun things and we had to go out to eat. By the fifth night, I really didn't care where we had dinner. I just wanted food to somehow come our way. One night, we went to my mother-in-law's house, and it was a very nice change for the better.

Eventually, we were able to get a new stove. A very nice new stove. A stove with a convection setup and one of those burners that is just for keeping food warm. It has three racks. (The old stove had only one.) It also has this really cool feature where you turn a knob and the correct burner turns on. (Something the old stove didn't have.) Anyway, our kitchen is now quite usable and I am happy to be cooking again.

So what are the lessons here? I am not saying that you should set fire to your kitchen in order to get a new stove. The phone calls and paperwork were a big headache and I am quite opposed to kitchen fires. Or any indoor fire for that matter.

One important lesson is to always have a fire extinguisher in your house. It is like having a form of insurance. You hope you'll never use it, but there might just come a day when you will be very glad to have it.

The other lesson is this: Sometimes you might have a problem so big that you can't even begin to figure out how to solve it. But after a time, it might turn out just right and somehow you may even find a happy ending.

Flower Quest

Ever since we bought our first home last year and increased our living space, I have been pulling vases out of storage and trying to put them on display, preferably with flowers in them. Of course, fresh flowers would be nice, but that can't happen year round. So I have been on a mission to find silk flowers.

One craft store in the area went out of business, so I made the seven mile trek to another craft store the next town over. (I combined it with another errand in the same town so as not to waste gas.) There I found an abundance of beautiful fake flowers, ranging in price from $1.99 to about $4 a flower. So I grabbed some up, went home and put some in the vases. I bought some more from the same place a few weeks later.

Recently, I went to one of those dollar stores not far from my house. I was looking for a cheap umbrella, but they didn't have any. But they did have silk flowers. Four for a dollar! I wish I had known that they were there, just five minutes from where I live. Soon I will have enough flowers to fill all my vases.

Interestingly, my kids asked me why I chose to put a vase of these flowers on the dining room table. Would we be eating around this vase from now on? Of course, the vase is removed before each meal. And why else would I display a vase full of flowers? Because it's pretty!

A Cat's Life

I feel compelled to once again blog about our cat, Olivia. This time I am trying to figure out why she seems so intelligent in some cases and completely idiotic in others.

There are times when I am impressed with her cognitive abilities. For example, one day Olivia decided to step from couch to the window sill. (See photo) She sat there for a while then realized there was no way down. It was too far to jump down and the coffee table was too far away to step onto. It took her about 20 minutes to figure out that she had to walk backwards to the end of the sill, jump onto the couch and then to the floor. Smart cat, right? But remember this is the same cat who fell onto the stairs every day for about a month before she finally quit napping next to the stairs. (See previous post, Olivia the Super-Cat)

Still, I know Olivia has some intelligence. In the three houses we have lived in since we acquired her, she has always known to stay away from the street. Even now when we are right next to it.

But then I think of the ritual she and I go through just about every week. Olivia's food dish is in the kitchen. Once a week, I move her dish to the living room so I can vacuum and mop the kitchen. About 30 seconds after I move it, she decides to eat. She goes into the kitchen and stares at the empty space where her dish usually is. She looks at me and meows. I point to the temporary location of the food dish. I even pick it up and shake it so she can see what it is. She gives me a blank stare and meows again. I point to the food dish again. She looks at the kitchen floor then looks back at me and meows. Finally, I start the vacuum which scares her and she runs off. About a half hour later, while the kitchen floor is drying, Olivia figures out where her food dish is and begins eating.

Now if she were really a smart cat, wouldn't she figure all of this out so we wouldn't have to go through the same thing every week? Apparently not.

Then again, she has been smart enough to stay alive to the age of 15.