Things I've learned from watching TV (and movies)

1. Never climb up something when you are being chased. You will always end up trapped at the top.
2. If Jessica Fletcher shows up in your neighborhood, LEAVE TOWN IMMEDIATELY! Also, take someone with you so you always have an alibi.
3. If you are about to be executed by an evil genius, he will most likely start telling you all his evil plans. He will spend so much time doing this that the good guys will have just enough time to rescue you.
4. If you run across a dead body, don't touch it or pick up the weapon lying nearby. (This seems like a no-brainer, but people on Matlock and Perry Mason never followed this advice.)
5. Living with or close to the Ingalls family of "Little House" fame was somehow detrimental to children as it made them prone to run away from home. (What was with that family? Funny how Laura never mentioned any runaways in her books.)
6. Office buildings in NYC and other large cities are filled with funny people where humorous things happen constantly and nobody ever really works.
7. A pregnant woman always knows the second she goes into labor. (Something must be wrong with me. It took me hours to figure it out.)
8. There is always a way to keep ahead of an explosion if you are a good guy.

See what I've learned? Who says too much TV is bad for you? I'm going to see if I can learn something new from TV right now.